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January 9, 2013
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Op. 22, no. 9
To my Former One


A loss in love that touches me more nearly,
This utter loss of friendship have I felt.
The wound and scar that aches much more severely,
The pound of flesh whose loss I have been dealt.
I do not pine for kisses in the night,
Nor eyes adoring in their furtive glance.
I ceased to dwell upon our bitt'rest fight,
Or whether it had ever stood a chance.
But this I miss, that we were friends before,
In silence or in speech, through laughs or tears.
Confide, confess, it let my spirit soar
To trust you with the secrets of my years.
The one who coined "just friends"--O, what a hack!
My dearest friend is never coming back.
Op. 22, no. 9 of my sonnet series Aaron's Beard, on platonic love and friendship. Based on Shakespeare's 42nd sonnet, "That thou hast her it is not all my grief."

What a sad thing it is to lose a dear friend! Will we ever talk again?
:iconrationalist-v-artist:
I see where Shakespeare's 42nd sonnet inspired your words. I also like your allusion to 'The Merchant of Venice' in line 4; the imagery really added to the description.

Your rhyme is smooth and original, which is always great to see in fixed poetry. Your iambic pentameter is spot on too (which is one of my usual gripes!). I know how hard it can be to write convincing iambic pentameter and rhyme together, but you show expert knowledge of rhythm and sound.

You keep concisely to the theme whilst expanding it in the second quatrain, and when you're developing the dilemma in the third. I applaud you for keeping so tightly to Shakespeare's structure of a sonnet here. Your final rhyming couplet provides a fantastic resolution to the sonnet, even when it does hold a tinge of sadness.

Overall, you have a clear and concise vision, and have employed all the literary techniques of a sonnet with expertise and originality. This is a beautiful sonnet, and I thank you for the pleasure of reading it, truly.
What do you think?
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