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literature
Be Still
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Literature Text
Psalm 89:9
He stood before a formless void,
The waters of the deep.
And as they crashed beneath his feet
He said, "Be still!" And overjoyed
The shapeless world gave heed.
He stood before a world of sin,
Of holiness ignored.
For forty days his waters poured,
But grieved, He cried, "Be still!" Therein
The earth knew He was Lord.
He stood waist deep before the crowd
And leaned back with the flow.
Deep down beneath the watery shroud
He mouthed, "Be still!" So time went slow
As heaven went aglow.
He stood before the creaking bow,
Beaten by the rain,
With spirit calm, disciples faint.
He said, "Be still!" The waves kowtowed
To Him who came to reign.
He stood before a basin full
As Pilate washed his hands.
With knowledge of this great demand,
He kept still as a sheep sheared of its wool,
Just as the Shepherd planned.
He stood before the devil, killed,
With blood caked on his side.
But fear struck him who once was thrilled
Because the trembling earth could not be stilled
In mourning Him who died.
He stood before a formless void
Down in the very deep.
Wonderfully, fearfully,
He said, "Be still!" And at His voice
I came to live and breathe.
He stood before a formless void,
The waters of the deep.
And as they crashed beneath his feet
He said, "Be still!" And overjoyed
The shapeless world gave heed.
He stood before a world of sin,
Of holiness ignored.
For forty days his waters poured,
But grieved, He cried, "Be still!" Therein
The earth knew He was Lord.
He stood waist deep before the crowd
And leaned back with the flow.
Deep down beneath the watery shroud
He mouthed, "Be still!" So time went slow
As heaven went aglow.
He stood before the creaking bow,
Beaten by the rain,
With spirit calm, disciples faint.
He said, "Be still!" The waves kowtowed
To Him who came to reign.
He stood before a basin full
As Pilate washed his hands.
With knowledge of this great demand,
He kept still as a sheep sheared of its wool,
Just as the Shepherd planned.
He stood before the devil, killed,
With blood caked on his side.
But fear struck him who once was thrilled
Because the trembling earth could not be stilled
In mourning Him who died.
He stood before a formless void
Down in the very deep.
Wonderfully, fearfully,
He said, "Be still!" And at His voice
I came to live and breathe.
This is a poetry commission I did for my friend IRL 
. She requested something about being still and surrendering. As I was meditating over this, I came to the realization that God is the true master of surrender: Because He surrendered, He is the one who receives our own surrender. So I suppose this is the gist of the poem, that in calling us to be still we come to know how still and surrendered God himself was and is and will be. Without rambling on about style and allusions and all that boring stuff, I'll just leave you to read this. Soli Deo Gloria!
. She requested something about being still and surrendering. As I was meditating over this, I came to the realization that God is the true master of surrender: Because He surrendered, He is the one who receives our own surrender. So I suppose this is the gist of the poem, that in calling us to be still we come to know how still and surrendered God himself was and is and will be. Without rambling on about style and allusions and all that boring stuff, I'll just leave you to read this. Soli Deo Gloria! © 2012 - 2024 Parsat
Comments2
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Overall Vision Originality
Technique ImpactI decided to critique this poem because it is one of my favorites of your work. I love the form you chose, and think it gave a lot of power to the poem's message. I think this is a perfect example of the form and rhyming working with and supporting the ideas in a poem, so the suggestions I make will primarily focus on making that even a little smoother.
The first little comment I'll make is about the second stanza--you have the phrase "for forty days his waters poured, / But grieved, He cried…". I couldn't figure out whether the waters were grieving or He was grieving. I think you probably mean Him, but if it is possible to make that slightly clearer it might help.
The third stanza is the first that deviates from the rhyme scheme you established with the first two. I wasn't a fan of this deviation, because I feel like it comes too early in the poem. I think the major 'turn' in the poem is when He becomes still Himself--in the fifth stanza. If you want to change rhyme scheme, I would do it there, to emphasize that difference.
The fifth stanza (and the sixth) also move the placement of the word "still" in the line. I would consider trying to keep it the same throughout, as that would (I think) emphasize the similarity to Him being still and do His command of other things to be still.
The sixth stanza was slightly confusing--I realize that you use "him" not "Him" to make it clear you refer to the devil, but I think, for non-religious readers, it may be helpful to clarify that in other ways too. I do love the image of the "trembling earth" mourning Him though. That's a great ending to that stanza.
I also think the ending of the poem is excellent--you completely deviate from your earlier rhyme schemes, but it works wonderfully. It concluded the poem very powerfully.
Anyway, I hope that was at least somewhat helpful. This was a very cool poem, and I may steal the form myself sometime. <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s…" width="15" height="15" alt="
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